I wonder..almost cracking my head..what do u suggest if circumstances are so depressing.
It is really not easy to be alone living in a foreign city, facing death and work stress..feeling like a deserted soul.
Only if I could find an outlet to temporary run away from them, a safe cave hiding from everything..
Life seems rather meaningless while it takes work to just breathe properly.

Since I don't really know what exactly is the case. So It is hard to tell. But sometime something which is happen in your life, u must have to face it , u cannot get away from it. Is it u are one make it happens or.... Can u just leave there and go somewhere else to work or live?????

If it does happen to me, just like the way which happen to u now. If is my fault, I either go to a church near by,(if there is one) or just in fornt of my bed, make a prayer, telling HIM I'm sorry confess, and ask HIM to give me the wisdom and strength etc. to due with the thing which I need to due with. or if is not my fault , I just forget about it, and get on my life. since nobody can settle everything which comes into your live. If possible find someone u trust, he or she might help u out, give u some suggestions.  Well, since I am a christian, I do believe that HE can help me out in HIS way and in HIS time. What I will do is pray to HIM.

Or May be Sing A Hymn

sometimes, i told myself..the best is yet to come...however, it seems too much a luxury to even think abt it.
sometimes, i seek for buddha's ultimate wisdom with tears in my eyes, he smiles back to me with a mysterious style which i have yet to decode.
knowing life can be painful, but only when u bite into it to realize how unbearable and how eternaly forever it can be.  
patience and strength are like 2 ends of a rope.
i know i need to have patience, biting my teeth to let the moment pass, yet i am not confident there's enough strength to pull me through.